I was a pig and it did not change into my adult years I continued to be a pig. It is something that never bothered me and I never cared about the appearance of my room. As long as I had a bed to sleep in then the rest was not important. It was pretty pathetic when I look back at it now. My room was like the dumpsite of the house. Papers, clothes, shoes and other paraphernalia mingled together in a chaotic delirium.
Did I care, no I did not even when there was a clunk in the room it would take me days to act. As I lay in bed one day, I knew that my life was not the real representation of my potential. I was lazy, disorganized and totally irresponsible. At the same time I was busy sabotaging any chances of finding someone to settle down with, but that is another story in another upcoming article. I was busy telling myself that the world was a cruel place when the truth of the matter was that I had been cruel to myself for a long time. So I decided to use all my energy to overturn the situation.
I set myself a goal
You have to understand I am not your average guy, most people do not have to be told to sweep their room when they are more than 20 years old. So I had to set myself a goal. The first thing I would do each and every morning over thirty days was to sweep my room. Easier said than done but I realized that after the first week I was doing it as a reflex. I did not need to think or to force myself anymore. When I set myself the goal of writing five thousand words each day for ten days I followed the same script. The first few days were difficult but on the fourth day I was doing it with ease and over time it has become easier so much so that my next target is 10000 words a day.
It will take self-will, I do not want to lie but when you have a goal you can achieve a lot.
I got rid of the clutter
I have already pointed out that my room was in a state of chaos. I would not have been surprised if I had come across wildlife in the place. It was a disorganization that spilled over from my internal self. I was all over the place emotionally and mentally so it expressed itself in everything I did. The statement whatsoever a man thinketh so is he is not only appropriate in this situation but it does not explain my situation in a graphic manner.
Getting rid of the emotional and mental clutter that was causing mental blocks enabled me to distress and by extension I was so relaxed that words begun to flow out like a gushing river. Now I was struggling to keep up with the words that I had to type. That was a good thing. My room was cleaner which meant it was easier to find stuff that I was losing and the atmosphere was clean with the obvious benefit of such a situation being better physical health and less stress.
Unclutter your mind when you are writing and you will be rewarded with a writing experience like no other. Uncluttering your mind involves you removing experiences that are keeping you bogged down. Some of the experiences you can write about, however, there are some that you might not want to share with the rest of the world. Do not bury them in your subconscious but uproot them and throw them away.
For me the act of uprooting was not divorced from cleaning my room. I had to clean the room and at the same time deal with some issues like shame, lack of confidence and fear.
I was not embarrassed
I was not embarrassed to let people into my room as it was now spick-and-span. The same thing with my writing I was confident that my writing was controlled and therefore the outcomes would be lucid thoughts rather than a stampede of ideas that ran all over the page without a central idea supporting the article. You might be asking why did it take me long to change course and do the right thing. The truth is that I did not know what the right course was I was too proud to really accept that I was function at a level that was dehumanizing so I justified my condition. I might have pointed a few fingers at other people, something that is totally uncool. We cannot blame other people for the totality of our failures.
I was not really ready to take charge and be responsible for my life. I was also afraid of sharing my ideas that I did self-censorship. This was part of my shame and embarrassment and it all began in my room so I had to clean the room so that I would at least deal with the embarrassment.
Fear kept me tied up as I knew that if I had even marginal success then much would be required if me. I was so used to being labelled a failure that if I succeeded and proved people wrong was a concept that I could not comprehend. But I dealt with that issue and moved on. I became less afraid of success and more driven.
The truth is that my room reflected my life at that present moment but as I became responsible and confident, I managed to move my life back on track. I had to learn to focus and to do things that other people were doing as a reflex for a long time. I did not mind I was willing to endure the momentary pain if the long term benefits assured me that I would be prosperous.
image credit: freedigitalphotos.net/akarakingdoms
The Insurgent Guy 